|I want to SCREAM!|
For some unfortunate ones their dark moments can be really hard. These hardships can come from many things, be it financial, relationship, career, loss of loved ones, health or for the really bad ones, combinations of several factors.
In the darkest time, life can feel like falling into a dark hole, followed with chains of bad things where life keeps on getting darker and darker, until it becomes so dark even your own shadow doesn’t want to befriend you, yet you keep on falling deeper.
The sadness, unhappiness, discomforts or problems can be caused by a wrong decision, other's action or simple plain bad luck. Falling in life is painful, but if the art of falling is mastered, one can survive to eventually rebound.
- Control the Symptoms.
If one has a fever, don’t waste time debating what infection caused it, control the fever. If the house on fire, don’t argue who left the stove burning or whether it was an electric short, instead get some water.The symptoms are what cause the damage, control them first. Blames, regrets, reflections and other emotions drain energy in time where none can be spared. Do them later. Prioritize!
- Do Not Overestimate the Problem.
The initial shock of a problem usually amplifies the perception of the problem to be bigger than it is. This leads to despair and diminished will, losing the opportunity to tackle the issue while it was still small. Keep Perspective!
- Do Not Underestimate the Problem.
Just because one is having the hardest of time, it doesn’t mean things can’t get worse. Falling with a safety net doesn’t mean the net won’t break. Getting stuck in a dessert on a water truck can still mean dying of thirst if water ran out before rescue comes. In that situation, don't take showers. Over-worrying is wasteful and dangerous. Not knowing the magnitude of the problem is equally dangerous. Be Prepared!
- Have a Plan.
Strange as it may seem, people in trouble often over estimated and under estimated the problem at the same time. Stepping back and looking at the big picture is most of the time, required. Once the problem is mapped, it is then a matter of devising a plan. It has to be bite size actions plan. Make small deliberate do-able steps. Over ambitious un-implementable plan is of no use. Simplify!
- Find an Anchor.
In the midst of chaos, it is very hard to keep horizon if at the same time everything moves differing directions. It is very important to have something that act as an anchor. Something that give confident and comfort. Something constant to hold on to.
To help keep sanity, some people rightly turn to religion. Some turn to family member as foundation. Some turn to trivial things such as writing a blog or aiming for scratch handicap in golf. The activities acts as release valves for tensions and as distractions to keep the mind occupied. The saying 'An empty mind is the devil's playground' is doubly true if one is already in the vicinity of hell. Focus!
- Fight back and Rebound.
Once the gravity of the situation is clear, a plan in hand and the mind focused, it is time to move on. To climb the dark hole that one has fallen into takes hard work. Life is never meant to be easy and no one promised it would be fair. It is not that far to the surface and the bottom is much deeper than imagined. The rewards of are waiting. To see the light out of the darkness is worth the fight. Persevere!
The road to salvation is a dangerous path with pitfalls and dangers lurking at every corner. On the journey, there are things to watch out for and avoid
- False Sense of Security. Do not stop fighting and let the guard down until things are really safe. Mirage in the dessert will only lead to veering off the correct path. Strong looking wooden support may be termite ridden and snap.
- Backstabbers. A lot of evil people feed on other's misfortune. An 'Aunt' that pretends to give sympathetic ear might just be looking for hot gossip materials. A 'Best Friend' might only be nice so he can scam some money.
- Breakdowns. Despair, Fury, Insanity, Depression, Suicidal, Dementia... Broken mind is a window to hell. Stay strong and do not breakdown. It is scarier beyond imagination.
If everything mentioned above failed, ring me up, and we’ll discuss it over beer while shooting a game of golf. Perhaps together, we can dull the pain and appreciate the comedy of humanity.